today is a gift

Monday, January 29, 2007

whatever. yeah, whatever. whatever. yeah, whatever! ok, stop it. it's lame. as i've mentioned in my last 2 previous blogs, i did confess to my long-lost friends that i miss them. ok, i did expect everyone to reply back. i'm quite touched with the replies. karthik commented that i'm such a sweet girl. say something i don't know. right. broy replied wiht his usual haha words. i don't know but i don't really accept that. did he mean that he took my message as a joke from a stupid, desperate-of-friends loner? ok, whatever. sheereen was kinda sweet. she put lots of smiley faces and the phrase 'miss you lots' like 5 times, i guess. it will so much better if she claimed that she did miss me first. anyway, from what i heard from athena, sheereen told her that she doesn't miss a bit of bowen. so, is that reply of hers a sincere one? did she just say it for the sake of replying a message from this poor loner? ok, whatever. i'm pissed with athena's message though. yeah, she did say she miss me. but i'm pissed when she claimed that she's glad to know that she's not the only sad person left. what?! sad?! me?! oh, athena, i am not sad. initially, i wanted to send my anger to her. but well, again, whatever. i just don't care. somehow, after sending that stupid missing message, a sense of regret overcame my heart. i should not send that message. but looking at the bright side, i am a brave person who has the guts to confess to her long-lost pals that she miss them. and i am not sad. but now, i don't miss them. at all. i just feel that they are not my friends anymore. now, whenever i read their blogs or look at their pictures or whatever, first thing that come to my mind. "oh, that's my ex classmate." seriously. suxin doesn't reply my message. whatever. it's so typical of her. her stupid lame excuse "oh, i've been really busy, you see." oh, i just forgot. she's now so, so, so, so, so busy with her jc, which she claimed its her base, her stageworks, her new friends, her beloved classmates, her new life. whatever. i'm just so sick of her. it's dumb of me to ever have this stupid thought that suxin was a great friend who understood me the most and i assumed that both of us could be forever friends. we'd been good friends and clasmates since sec 1. not. did i mention in one of my posts that she has changed? i think i did. so i don't need to waste my post saying about her.

it's so-called confirmed that o-level results will be released next week. what. the. hell. i'm extremely not prepared for that day. i just fear for the worst. i'm not confident of my results. i keep dreaming that my results will be so bad. and my mind screen keeps visualising how i am supposed to kill myself after receiving those poor results. na'uzubillah. i should not think of that. it's easy to commit suicide but i've to bear in mind, the life after death. upon seeing my face gets so tensed whenever the word 'o-level' is mentioned, my dad told me gently, "if you don't do well, relax and go home straight."

read my some of my ex-classmates' blogs. they apparently are enjoying themselves to the max in their jcs. they seem so, so, so happy. i'm like so happy for them and wish that i were them. i'm like so envied with their new lives as i'm now a pathetic housedaughter who has to cook, wash the dishes, clean the house and take care of her dear little rahman. not. except for that housedaughter part. anyway, am i sarcastic? i just read the papers and there's a study claims that those people who always give sarcasms tend to have higher risk of suffering heart diseases. well, whatever. btw, i'm so glad that the americans are against bush's lame idea of stratergy for afghanistan. send more american army troops to afghanistan? oh, probably he wants to set the guinness world record 'the highest number of people die for the president'.

rabiah, seriously, you really do have a higher risk of getting heart diseases.

rabiah♥8:53 AM