today is a gift

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

i was quite lunatic on last sunday. it couldn't be pms since my period had just over. probably, it's a post one. whatever. out of the blue, i hate my body so much. well, to be honest, i've been hating my body. but on that sunday, a crazy ghost possesed me. after reading a book on an anorexic girl, somehow, she inspired me. i desperately want to lose weight. i want to be thin. i don't give a damn what people say but i want to be thin. well, it's that sunday. tears kept streaming on my face. my heart kept cursing myself. my brain kept saying that i'm fat. but my flabby tummy said, "i want food!" that's me. badly craves for a thin body but still eats. a lot. haha. i believe this kind of stuff does happens to every woman. i know it's obviously not healthy to crash dieting and excessive exercising. yeah, frankly, i do want to be like kate bosworth, victoria beckham, nicole richie and those sized zero women. but i can't. i don't want history to repeat itself. all i set now is healthy lifestyle. and do lose those puppy fat!

anyway, recently, i watched tyra show on anorexia. those women whom share their problems and views during that episode are so brave. they really have the guts. and mouths. i was not that surprise but was too when a 27-year-old woman weighed 75 pounds. i've seen worst. she's very skinny. she almost looked like a robot. but she's very brave. she wants to fight against her eating disorder. she has 2 sons and a loving husband who still need her. seriously, she can just drop dead if she continues her disorder. hence, she needs help. as she's very brave to share her plight, she's offered a help from physicatrist with free of charge. she claimed that she's very afraid as she has to gain weight but that's the best for her. there's kinda a dispute among 4 women whom tyra invited for the talk. a naturally slim model(michelle), a plus sized model(mia), a 88-pounds- model but want to lose weight and admitted to attempt suicide when she once reached 104 pounds(yale) and a slim, healthy lady who promotes models(sorry, forget her name). actually, i don't agree with mia although i disagree with yale. these two like were having a debate. each feels she's right. yale is really mad to lose weight. she's so skinny. her face looks so small that the cheeckbones seem that they can burst out of the skin anytime. she claimed she's healthy. but she lied. she obviously doesn't look healthy. even tyra and the model promoter said so. tyra seemed to agree with mia. yes, having curves is beautiful. but mia is fat. seriously. to me, she doesn't have the right to tell yale that she's unhealthy. mia is overweight and that's definitely not healthy either. both are wrong. mia needs to exercise and lose weight and yale obviously needs to gain weight healthily. i didn't quite like it when mia said, "yes, i'm fat but i'm fab." yeah, i salute her positive attitude but it just doesn't seem right. the audience clapped for mia. i guess to her positive attitude. anyway, 3 loud cheers to tyra! man, she has the guts. recently, the tabloids have been criticising tyra for her 'fat' body. they called her 'the america's top waddle', 'tyra pockchops' etc and claimed that she gained 50 pounds. man, i really hate those tabloids. tyra almost cried but she's very strong. she compared her body to the photo of her body in the tabloids. she does have cellulites and gains weight. but not what the tabloids claimed. she is curvy, she's like beyonce. sexy, bootylicious, vuloptuous. and healthy. and guess what tyra said to those people who simply want to embarrass women and find the women's flaws: "kiss my big, fat ass!"

i love ugly betty! and, please, make money drop from the sky! i need them to shop ;p

rabiah♥12:33 AM