i can't deny that i'm so going to miss my poly life. in fact, i'm going to miss being a student. can't actually believe that i'm going to officially start working on the 5th of april. haiz. even though i'm very grateful that having a job means i'll ease bapak's burden, i don't think i'm ready yet:( but i guess this might be what most people feel before their real first job.

as usual, i spend my break with my loved ones. can't wait to toilet-train abdul rahman again. it ain't going to be an easy task cause apparently, abdul rahman seems to be a bit 'geli' with his urine. haha. his teacher came to our house just now, giving tips and advices how to make our house a learning environment friendly for him. so far, we seem to do quite well for him. Alhamdulillah. all i want for abdul rahman is to improve on each day. ya, we understand we can't expect him to be on the same par as the rest. but we can try though:) InsyaAllah. and he has started to call me 'kakak':D

and i've been shopping, shopping and shopping. someone, please, lock my bank! haha. but seriously, i'm actually very worried with the decreasing rate of my bank money. well, i do not only shop for myself though. i think i shop more for my family members esp abdul rahman! hmmf. besides shopping and going out with family and cousins, i've also been watching a lot of dvds. at least 1 per day. haha. well, most of the movies i watch are either disney's, hindi or the feel-good kind. somehow, for english movies, i prefer those which do not make me feel stressed but i don't mind wasting my tears for a hindi movie. hehe. btw, there's this hindi movie, 3 idiots, which is a must-watch. believe me. i think rex cinema is still playing it even though it's already the 8th week. i'm not good in doing a movie review(that's why i got a b for my o-level eng) but the movie is really good. sth to do with self-actualization, i think. haa. amir khan looks super cute in it and sharman joshi, as usual, is very adorable! haha. wth.

so...life, for me, has been so far a beauty:) hopefully, it still is after i've started working. haha. it really is. well, ya, at times, i do feel very down about myself. like i feel i'm not good enough and there's absolutely nothing good about me. typical negative-thinking rabiah. but i'm very grateful to Allah s.w.t. for giving me this supportive and loving family. hmm. can't wait to have another outing with cousins on this friday and family on the weekends:)

ya, life is a never smooth journey. each of us is like a captain of a ship. it's up to us how we're going to make through to reach to our destination. it's not important whether we reach to our destination or not, it's how we're going to make our way there. we've to plan our route there but then, we, humans, can only plan. cause we've to admit not everything can go as we planned. so we've to be flexible about it and know how to handle if things don't go our way. and along the journey, we've to face the waves, unpredictable weather, icebergs, any obstacles. and each challenge we're able to face and fight, hopefully it makes us stronger. but then, what if i don't know what my actual destination is? i still do not know what i really want in life.

btw, i'm kinda in a dilemma now. haa. i don't know if i wanna buy this hp or not. it attracts me! but my contract has not finished. erm. i need more ka-ching$!