Saturday, December 04, 2010
totally love the disney princesses plus the princes, of course. no matter how many times i watch their movies, i never get sick of them. hee:)having a rest day on sun! i believe so far, i only have less than 5 off days on sun. so i must make full use of this sun! hehe. even though i know that everyone faces difficulties at work, i still can't stop complaining about work! haha. man, i'm going to work for bloody 11 days straight. haiz. luckily, this time there're only am and pm shifts.
anyway, on my supposedly sd, ok after my 2nd night, i went for this eol talk at ktph. btw, ktph has a very nice, calming environment. i think it may be beneficial for hospice patients. really. it brings up its motto 'a hospital in a garden, a garden in a hospital'. there's so much greenery everywhere that i may not be surprised if my eyesights can improve. haa. but it must be very well maintained or else it can be a good breeding ground for mosquitoes. oops. haa. ok, back to the eol talk. its main topic is on hope to cancer patients. hope is subjective. it's a belief to a positive outcome. hope is a feeling, a desire, a trust, a wish that sth good, sth that we want/expect will happen. for cancer patients, hope is priceless. we may think their hopes may be unrealistic or whatever, but these hopes they yearn for are what are making and have made them alive. the palliative consultant(pardon me for forgetting her name) was discussing how we, the healthcare workers, can play our part in instilling hope to our patients. not that easy. haa. but we've to try though. however, i know i can't be specialized in palliative. i'm an emotional person. so ya...i'm scared i can't control myself. i could even cry listening to sister geraldine's story on her late patient during the talk. i really don't think palliative is for me but i still have to nurse palliative patients. well, for me, i simply avoid touching on any topic on the diagnosis. i'll try my best not to explain so much like on the meds, the procedures unless they want me to talk about it. usually, i'll just ask 'would you like to share it with me?' or 'would you like me to explain further on this?' sth like that. most of them simply want a listening ear to vent out what they've hold in their hearts. so i guess that's what i've been doing la. hmm. i also did read a newspaper article on this cancer patient who spent $100k on alternative treatment. even after going through chemo and rt, he felt it was not helping hence he tried whatever came his way. he did mention 'when one is desperate, anything can sound logical.' i think if i were him, i'd also be damn desperate. he's only 31yrs old! and he has colon cancer mets to lungs! God... we'll always face the mystery of tragedies but hope is like that faith which keeps us going. well, there're ppl like him who will try whatever ways but there're others who just leave it to fate. there's pros and cons, whatever it is, it's up to the individual. i can't deny there're some patients, whom i've nursed, who i believed should have been just terminally discharged. it's not an easy procedure to do, some drs actually confessed to me they've never done before and don't dare to discuss about it. but to me, why must we let the patients stay in the hospital when we obviously know that they're going soon? why can't we let them go home with their loved ones around and let them pass on at their own house, on their own bed? there's a patient who verbalized he knew he's dying but why the team dr still didn't discharge him. he was really angry and did make our job quite difficult. however, on his last day, he was so good to us that i was shocked when he thanked the nurses. he passed away and i'm very sad that his last wish to go home was not fulfilled. but i also did ask what if the patient pass away on his way home. won't it be more tragic? haiz. i don't know la. what i know is i do fear of cancer. hiaz. sometimes, ignorance is a bliss.
btw, i'm planning to change my hp but i'm really not sure which hp i should buy. these are what playing in my mind.
rabiah♥11:32 PM
